And I love Budders (brothers)

Community baths:
It's not a thing that usually happens around here, the kids are starting to get a bit big for the community bathing experience! Questions arise that I have no real appropriate answers for, so I opt for the more controlled, one at a time, in and out showers for the little kids.

However, this particular night we had just made it back from Atlanta where the kid transfer happened...from Dad to Mom. After hours of highway driving, I was in the mood for maximum results with the least amount of effort. They were in the mood for fun!(the suction shower mat makes for an artistic backdrop eh? excuse that.)

These 2 pictures of Madelyn are for my sisters' benefit...no the sports-vest jacket wasn't part of the original ensemble for the princess dress, but when you have a girlie-girl who lives with a bunch of brothers...this is what you get!

That night after the bath pictures, I tucked Maddie into her bed, did our usual " I love you this much, this big and this high" and "I love you more, no me more, no me the most-est" etc. As Maddie rolled over to snuggle her life size horse and lovie, she says from behind her passy, "and I love budders". I could have just eaten her right then and there!

It's good to have all my children back home and to feel the love and laughter as it fills the air!

I will run.

Today.

Well, its a weird kinda day. It's supposed to be a happy day, a day of celebration.

It's not exactly.

Instead, its a day that stings.

It's a day that reminds me of what "isn't".

8 years ago today, I got married.

But yet in 2 weeks from today, I will have been divorced now for 1 year.

I'm finding my philosophy assignment of writing on the Socrates quote "The unexamined life is not worth living", almost impossible. But it's due tonight regardless.

I can't think today.

All I can do is feel.

So I will do what I know works- I will run today.

Because it is through running that I've learned to let go and keep going.

These next few weeks, as the 1 year mark approaches,

I will run...

through the sadness,

through the emotions,

through the confusion of high's and low's.

For this I know for sure...

When I feel broken, running makes me feel less broken.

When I'm exhausted from sadness, running gives me new energy.

When I'm confused, running allows me to straighten out what really does matter.

When I'm overwhelmed, running keeps me focused on the small steps.

I love what Kristin Armstrong (Lance Armstrong's ex-wife, who is a runner) said recently,

"I don't run away from things anymore, mind you, I run through them."

Running through the hidden treasures in my back yard

This week the kids have been in Florida visiting their father. I find myself on an unusual road when they are gone, a journey of emotions that are up and down with twists and turns. When the kids are home, I'm begging for peace and quiet. Yet oddly when they are gone, I struggle to know just what to do with the peace and quiet.

I decided to go running this morning on our mountain behind the cow pastures (and by "our" I really mean my parents!).

Though we go up there from time to time, usually its not by foot and never have I run it. I brought my 100 lb. Weimaraner, Brody...as my "Brody Guard". I am such a wimp and don't particularly like being out there alone. Brody is the best thing ever, though he is a hunting dog and most certainly wants to kill something, he stays close and takes every opportunity to snuggle next to my face!

I also took my camera because I had a hunch I'd wish I had it... I was right!


I took a ton of pictures, but here's a few that show what is perfectly tucked away in the mountains of my own back yard (again, "my own" is like the "our" mentioned above, ha).

I ran in the grassy hay fields...

I ran through the barren trees and climbed the rocks...I pretended to be a gymnast again on fallen trees...

I ran up hill, up hill and up hill...

I ran on pine trails and rocky streams...I jumped over cow um, well, you know #2...

following my Brody Guard every step of the way, he seems to intuitively know the best way up, so I followed quickly behind him...

I peeked down on a few sun bathing cows...and made a few horses nervous...I counted deer footprints in the mud and made some of my own.

I listened to the sound of the woods...and later cranked my tunes on my ipod...I took in the smells and felt the cool breeze...but mostly...

I ran and ran and ran...

and sang and cried and laughed...

and ran some more!

This is God's country, I tell ya... it's the best place to sing out loud, cry tears you can't let go of anywhere else, and play like you were a little girl again!

I had one of the best mornings I've had in a long time...my legs felt great and my spirit is renewed!

And I have one very tired dog now laying at my feet...its gunna be a good day!

**added this afternoon**

Brody and I also have a few too many ticks to prove we've "been there, done that"! ack!!