Last week after kissing each face, hugging each neck, and trying to keep my game face on; they all pulled away. The game face quickly faded and sadness filled my heart like a rushing wave. Thankfully I had several things to do that day and it kept my mind occupied.
But just like trying to distract your child from the shot that's about to hit their skin, eventually the moment comes and the inevitable is felt. When that moment came and the sting hit my heart like a vaccination, I headed out for my reset run. The run in which I transition myself from "Mom on duty" to "Mom off duty". I am always a Mom, but not always in charge.
This time I headed up a route I haven't ran in months....in 4 months to be exact! Not since Sunday, March 6 when I broke my leg while on a 15 mile run. That 15 quickly turned into 10 and couched me for 6 weeks! But I felt ready to run it again and I was looking forward to putting that day 4 months ago, behind me!
This time I ran it with purpose and intention! It was liberating actually! And as I ran up the mountain I was reminded about how wonderful it is to see things come full circle! Breaks will heal. Tears will dry. Kids who have left, will come home. Everything has a season.
At the end of this week, I will run another reset run. This time I must transition my slower pace, my egocentric plans, back to "Mom on duty". And I've got to prepare my heart for 4 children who still struggle to manage the emotions of the switch; going from Dad to Mom. Still trying to process why we can't live in one house, or one state for that matter. It's gut-wrenching to see them at such young ages trying to comprehend adult issues.
But for now, in my the last few days of freedom, I'm enjoying this season and the slower pace. I miss my kids so badly, but I know how things come full circle and I will soon be begging for some peace and quiet! So I'm gunna enjoy it now, while I've got it!
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