You are here.

The other day I ventured out to run a new-to-me trail. I had a hankerin’ for something different and this trail wasn’t too far from my home. Having had a particularly rough few days I was looking forward to the time alone; a way to mentally/emotionally tie up and double knot some loose ends. I love new things, I love trails, and I love running alone; but new trails alone are tough for me. My desire for adventure gets me through but I struggle with anxiety, the fear of getting lost and not knowing where I am. Yes I have an iPhone, yes it has apps; it’s still not enough to quench the feeling of panic. But I don’t want to let fear paralyze me, so I run through it~ with a knife!

I found my way to the trail head, began my Garmin’s satellite searching process (I’m positive it helps to hold your arm up over your head, closer to the satellite world or the clouds or any kind of tower you can find!), I checked the map once more, paced the parking lot as I talked myself into/out-of this run and prayed that all snakes would suddenly fall dead. I felt like a line from Lady A, “…couldn’t wait to get going but wasn’t quite ready to leave…”~ but my watch beeped that E.T had successfully phoned home so I hit “start” and got on my way.

As I ran and played leap frog from rock to rock, double checking every root for a head, I was reminded of the joy to be found in a new trail! The sense of adventure and the fresh new sights; it’s hard to keep track of time in moments like that. For me being in the woods is like a quick check-out from life. After awhile though I began to feel that the tree markers where becoming increasingly scarce. As in, I couldn’t remember when I had last seen one. I’ve run many trails and most of the time you have a simple paint marking on a tree as a trail guide. This particular trail had labeled tree markers, of which I was no longer seeing [insert panic]. Quickly I found myself wishing I had listened to my “other self” back at the trail head, the one full of logic and zero desire for adventure. I decided to keep on in hopes that I’d get this figured out soon. very soon.

The path was narrow, the rocks were many, and the signs long gone. 

Truth be known, this was a reasonable depiction of my life as it currently stands; not completely lost but I certainly wouldn’t bet money on my exact location.

Ever worry that you need to be found? Some confidence that your even on the map?

For about 15-20 minutes I did an embarrassing amount of self-talk as I tried to remain calm and picture the map in my mind (not to self: bring the cotton-pickin’ map next time!). Most likely I wasn’t too far off but I was going to need something to show up reasonably soon in order to prevent a total freak out moment. Thankfully, about the time I was getting to the end of my own self-regulation resources, I began to see something up ahead that felt like water in a desert:

I stood there immediately aware of the divine moment. Do you see it?

Let me do a zoom in for ya’:

‘Yes child, You Are Here’

I hugged the sign for longer than most would consider appropriate. This was far more elaborate than anything I’d ever seen on a trail, but who’s complaining?!

‘YOU ARE HERE.

See that Jill? right HERE’ 

His fingerprint once again pressing my heart. A simple picture~ that which He often uses to feed my tender and hungry spirit.

As it turns out I had accidentally taken an accessory trail (incidentally NOT on the map) that put me on unmarked private property. who knew?

Nevertheless, the trail that day gave me a moment to literally run as my life figuratively feels… a narrow and rocky path that doesn’t appear well traveled, desperate for a sign.

We might feel directionless at times but we can be confident that He knows where we are. And we ARE on the map.

It was a precious reminder of what it’s like to be one of His children;

Always found.