happy thanks giving

*written on 11/25/10*

Wow, Thanksgiving morning! I love the holidays! I love the way the sun rises differently on this Thursday morning. I love how the breeze blows a fresh sense of excitement through the air and the holiday spirit fills our hearts like a thick fog! I'm dying to run this morning, I'm desperate to get outdoors so my mind can settle down.

As I opened my eyes this morning, pondering the thoughts of "thanksgiving", I've been reminded of a few things. I wanted to share them here.

Sometimes "happy thanks giving" is tough. There are times when those 3 words are simply exhausting. I am deeply aware of the families that are not going to find this day easy. Hope has grown legs and walked out the door. Love is a foreign language. Commitment is merely a word, not a verb. Jobs have ended. The bank account is starving. The stress loads are dumping quicker than anyone could possibly imagine digging out from under. I know many are adorning their smiling "plastic faces" today, while deep inside their hearts are curled up in the fetal position screaming in agony and pain.

I've been there too, on this day specifically. I know the gut-wrenching feeling when people would say "Happy Thanksgiving". It was incredibly confusing. I wasn't "happy", I was too numb for a feeling, let alone one of "thanks" and I was empty and had nothing to "give".

There is something about the human heart that allows us to identify and carry a burden for those who are walking down roads where our own feet have been. Its a heart condition that gives us the ability to feel a bit of their pain, simply because we have hurt in a very similar way.

So today I want to encourage you, to lift you up with the Word, and to remind those who are struggling with "Happy Thanksgiving":


"Rejoice in the Lord always,

I will say it again: Rejoice!

Let your gentleness be evident to all.

The Lord is near.

Do not be anxious about anything,

but in everything,

by prayer and petition,

with thanksgiving,

present your requests to God.

And the peace of God,

which transcends all understanding,

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.....

for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.

I know what it is to be in need,

and I know what it is to have plenty.

I have learned the secret of being content

in any and every sitation,

whether well fed or hungry,

whether living in plenty or in want.

I can do everything through Him who gives my strength."


These verses remind me that I must act....reguardless of how I feel!
Our feelings are slow to respond sometimes, they may have stage fright. And that's ok! We don't live by how we feel, we live by the promises of God which are not subjective to how we feel right now, or in 2 hours from now!
So...Give thanks.
Its a verb.
Pray.
That's a verb too!
When you do, God promises to stand guard over your heart and your mind.
You will sense His presence,
for He is the peace that rises above all understanding.
You won't want to miss it!

Hello, my name is Jill.

Hello, my name is Jill.
Just in case you were still wondering, and the title wasn't clear!

I am a mother of 4 precious children and a stay home mom who just might remain a student indefinitely. I'm a runner, a Bama fan and the miserable owner of 3 vocal chord nodules that are quite possibly never going to recover after my boys' football season! I mean really, why is sitting in the stands and clapping for your son not an option for me? I've tried. It lasted 2 minutes and 25 seconds. And I'm not kidding.

Anyways, nice to meet you.

I thought I'd re-introduce myself as the creator of this blog! I've been MIA for over a month now and though I write blog posts in my head frequently, I've failed to actually share them here. I think about this blog every day. However as I work on my "50 things that HAVE to get done today", sitting here to write just doesn't rise to the top very often! I'd like to promise to do better. But Ramiro (yes, he's that little boy of mine that is now 7!!) has recently pointed out that making promises that I can't keep is not in his Bible. Thank you Pastor Ramiro for your Biblical insight!! So, I will NOT promise to do better....I'll just hope that I can and maybe Pastor Ramiro will find that sufficient! geesh, kids!

So, as of late......Ramiro is now thrilled to be 7 because he thinks he's closer to being "in charge", Andre is now 6 and thrilled to no longer hear Ramiro remind him that he's only 5! Andre said that was on his "EVERY last nerve"! haha I am also a year older now.....and we'll not worry about how old I am....I'll just say that I'm very sure it means I should be "in charge". I worry that its not actually a correct representation of reality at this house!! Dakota and Madelyn are both doing great as well!

The boys football teams have made it into the playoff's and we are so stinkin excited!! They have worked so hard and its awesome to see how they've grown as athletes since the first day of training camp! I "hope" to soon do a big post on Ramiro's season (scroll down a few posts for some of Dakota's highlights)....he's been amazing! You've never seen a kid so tiny take down kids 3x his size....and then jump up, pull up his pants/pads and run back in place for the next play....all before the other kid has gotten up off the ground! He's hysterical, that Ramiro! Go #42!!

As we wind down football, basketball practices have already started! Andre will be joining in this year....so having 3 boys now with practices/games should prove to be interesting! I'm just praying Ramiro and Andre don't body slam each other on the court like they do at home! I'm not over-exaggerating either!! Its a real possibility!

The weather is beautiful here and it makes for some great running! More on that later! Gotta get offa here now, I've just remembered that list of 50 things that HAVE to get done today!!
Love ya'll....its good to be back!!

Bye, my name is Jill.

one motley crew

I'm trying to make up for lost time on this blog...so here's some recent pics of the kids.

Madelyn now goes to a moms-morning-out program on Tuesday and Thursdays.

She was so excited to need a "pack-pack" and a "yunchbox".

This pic was from her first morning and I wish she looked more excited, ahem!

These 2 pic's were from the boys first day of school...
Maddie just likes to get in on the action too!
Off they were....Andre in K, Ramiro in 1st grade and Dakota in 7th grade.
(Ramiro's morning meds had not quite hit yet
so he was still off in his own little world,
Lord bless his teacher!)


As I look at these 4 kids I'm reminded of this past baseball season when
Dakota had a mishap with a baseball in the mouth.
As I raced home to drop off the little kids to my Dad and get to the ER
Dakota was quickly getting out of control from the pain and blood.

In moments like those one of the things that happens,
and it warms my heart,
is that the kids become very emotional
from seeing one of them hurting so badly.

By the time I got home, I had all 3 of the little kids squalling as well.
They fight like nobodies business,
don't get me wrong.....
but when push comes to shove,
these kids are tight!

My baby can RUN!!

Football. The south. Enough said.
And my boys are no exception, they love some football.
Except for one thing:

I'm not sure what they are feeding these boys down here,

but this first shot is just to show you what we're dealing with here in size.

So #92 back there....he's 11 (6th grade)!!

And my son, the big strapping brut #16 there in front, Dakota...he's 12 (7th grade).

It's enough to make this mother pace the sidelines,

holler like a wild woman and
be ready to jump the fence at any given moment

if her child is down for more than 2 seconds!

Never the less, Dakota is doing so well!

That's him there with the ball on the left.

And there.

And there.

First down baby!!

Way to run, 1*6*!!

And then, his biggest play of the season so far....

(#75 you'd better not even think about it....)

he's got the ball,

and he's got his work cut out for him,

50 yards away from the end zone....

hurry babe, hurry!

Run Kota, Run!

(about here I began to feel my vocal chords issue a warning:

please stop this abusive screaming! I ignore.)

Faster D, faster!!

Your not done yet, blue/white are all over you babe....

go Kota Man, run your heart out!!

He successfully "juked" those kids there....and was GONE BABY!!

(about here...his mother in the stands is loosing her ever lovin' mind, and her voice!)

TOUCHDOWN DAKOTA!!

Now that is a beautiful sight when your son had the ball!

Dakota was later thankful to find out that I decided NOT to jump the fence

and join in the "body bump" in the end zone. Just sayin'.

It was a close call.

Mom, I'll just sit here with you.

Yesterday evening we had a huge storm. The kind that you can see coming in, asses the look and size of the clouds and gather that its time to secure the patio furniture. Living in the cove, surrounded by mountains, means big wind storms! But the beauty of the mountains from every angle can't be more perfect, and so the wind storms are just par for the course I suppose.

The kids were all doing various things and I had come to a stopping point on my psych research paper outline (yes, the one I've daily complained about on Facebook!). I have been in a terrible funk lately (I'm still wanting to claim a reaction to Cipro for these psychological issues, but that's all I'm going to say about that!) and so as the storm was brewing outside I decided to take a break and go watch. It's a beautiful sight to see and I never want to pass up an opportunity to sit outside and enjoy the show. Plus, I felt something calling me to the back porch, something inviting me to come sit awhile. So I did.

I sat there taking it all in; the warm air, the roar of the wind over the trees, the thunder rolling like the tympani in the back of the orchestra, the sky painted with the darkest hues and the mountains wrapping its arms around it all. The birds were few, they all received the memo. The roads were quiet. And my hair (though now in big clumps of tightly weaved curls) blew freely in the wind. As I rested my head back against my chair the emotions of the past several weeks began to flood my heart. Though I don't have a specific thing that's happened, mentally things are not at peace. Just as the sky above me was covered in heavy dark clouds, so has my heart and soul been overcome by gray. I knew those clouds above and the roar of the thunder has been no stranger to me recently.

Slowly the back door opens and Andre steps out.

"Mom, why are you sitting out here in this?"

"Well, Andre, I just am"

"Well why?", he asked again.

I was battling a flood of tears as I tried to answer him. I lost the battle.

"Babe, Momma needs to watch those dark clouds right there....

.....I just need to see them blow over us and go away"

He seemed confused yet my tears and faint voice were unsettling to him I know. But all he said was "Oh, okay" and quietly went back inside.

I continued to sit there on the deck, knowing that there was incredible truth to what I just said. I wanted my heart to hear it too. I kept watching the clouds, they kept moving and the rain was becoming visible in the distance.

A few minutes later Andre opened the door again and what he did was so precious, hence why I'm sharing all this now. He walks over to another chair, scoots it over next to mine and as he crawls up in it he says, "Mom, I'll just sit here with you". He proceeds to stick his thumb in his mouth as he grabs my hand with his free hand. I melt.

"Andre, your such a good friend"

"I know", he says around the thumb.

And so there we sat, just my "prince charming" and I, watching the storm and not being afraid of the thunder. The rain eventually came and we hung out there as long as we could. Soon we were huddled together (now having moved closer to the door) with a blanket around us like a cocoon, but still watching.

He never said another word. Nor did I. We just quietly watched together.

As I came home this morning from my morning run (8 miles), Andre pops his thumb out of his mouth, gives me a hug and says with a great big smile, "I looked outside, its blue out there. I think the clouds are gone now."

And sure enough, they were.

As I ran this morning, jumping over the occasional tree limb and branch that hadn't faired well in the storm, I saw it too.

Blue sky's once again.

Matter of fact, I've never seen a blue this magnificent!

Extraordinary discoveries from the bathroom floor.

At 5:35 am this morning I jumped up from my bed and instantly had a bad feeling.

What time is it?

It was awfully bright outside therefore I quickly feared that I had overslept and missed my chance to run today! I haven't set an alarm clock in several years because I have an internal one that rings at 5:30 am, sharp (well most every morning!). But as I checked my phone my heart settled a bit...whew...I only overslept by 5 minutes! The run was still safely a go, so off I was. My morning baptism as usual.

As I was running I had one of those great euphoric experiences, you know the one's where you hear the Chariots of Fire anthem playing in the background as you gracefully and effortlessly cross the finish line and are wrapped in the American Flag as you wave to the hundred's of fans who came to watch the race! Face beaming in colors of red as you catch your breath from the 26.2 miles you just blew through and arms full of flowers from those who would love a picture and autograph! I saw the news headlines read "Single Mother of 4, runs first Olympic marathon and wins at 34!" And the news media waiting...

Oh wait, I forgot you're there and reading this.

I'm lost, where was I?

Yes, I was running this morning.

I'm back to the blog now.

So, while running/singing to MJ's "Just Beat It"...I got wondering about hidden talents. You know these prodigies that come out of no where with this incredible voice, skill, or mathematical genius at 50 who works at McDonalds, that leaves us scratching our heads. I found myself wondering if maybe I have a hidden talent or skill. Something that maybe I'm just not aware of yet. Something that's just waiting to be discovered, released and would make the madness in my life all make sense!

Maybe I could win a spelling bee...

"Dyslexic Mother of 4, spelling bee prodigy at 34".

Or maybe

"Deliriously desperate housewife discovers cure for cancer in her kitchen".

(that requires BEING in the kitchen...I quickly scratched that one!)

Or "Female, 5'2", becomes basketball star for WNBA."

Got the idea? The list could go on forever. Maybe we all have some incredible discovery in each of us that's just bustin' at the seams to get out!? Just maybe!

My last headline read,

"Mother of 4, runner, becomes famous ballerina. Performing now at the Kivov Ballet School in St. Petersburg, Russia."

I mean, really...who doesn't secretly wonder about striking this pose?

As I came home, now rockin' to Whitney's newish song "I didn't know my own strength", I felt renewed. Charged by the thought that maybe I was on the brink of discovering something extraordinary about myself.

I hustled the 2 little boys through breakfast, packed their lunches, kissed their cheeks, drove them to summer camp, and hurried back home to the other 2 kids.

As I walked into my bathroom, I threw my hands up for a great big stretch and a deep yawn before heading into the shower. Unfortunately, I lost my balance, tumbled and fell flat to the floor!

Yes, ballerina here landed on the bathroom floor from yawning and stretching at the same time! As I laid there for a minute, checking to see if anyone saw my graceful plunge, I began to laugh! And laugh. And laugh. Soon I was kicking my feet and squealing in hysteria! I began to cry funny tears!

The truth is, though life right now is really hectic, stressful and at times overwhelming....I'm happy! I like where I live, being in school, running and raising a tribe of crazy kids!

Come to think of it, I was on the brink of discovery!

The conclusions:

#1: I have no hidden talents that would require too-too's or leotards!

#2: The bathroom floor needed swiffering 2 weeks ago

#3: I should stick to running

#4: I'm thrilled with a simple headline that reads,

"Mother of 4: finds joy, happiness and balanced life!"

I don't need to be a prodigy. Nothing fancy or out of the norm is necessary for me. It's just good to be happy. To be able to laugh myself silly, even to tears on the bathroom floor and not care an iota about it!

A simple life is a good life...I'm not trading this for being a rock star any time soon!!

P.S.- Something gives me the feeling though that I'm in need of some progress on the "balanced" part of discovery #4! Googling Bosu balls now!!

Just Thankful.

I've got a secret. Lean in close so you can hear. I LOVE LIVING ON A FARM, IN THE COUNTRY!

And one more secret, I'll whisper this one...THIS IS THE BEST PLACE TO RAISE KIDS!

The kids get to see and do things that are priceless. I love that they are able to experience nature, animals, gardens, and dirt! Wide open spaces, mountains and pastures too!

Its been a year now since moving to the farm. I can't believe it, but its true!

Though the transition had it's moments of great sadness, this place has offered each of us a chance to process, regroup and rebuild! There's something magical about the country. Maybe its the slower pace, the excitement of feeding calves, or the freshly grown fruit/veggies from the back yard.

To say this place is a blessing for us is like saying the ocean is a little salty! Or oily, ahem.

We still have things in boxes, the kids rooms aren't really "decorated" yet and most all my walls are still bare...but none of that matters so much anymore. The smiles, the giggles, the kids running in open fields and chasing bunnies is what brings greater joy these days.

Tractors, hay balers and barns are a perfect backdrop for "growing up" little kids...it's really the best kept secret around!

On my run this morning I was reminded of all these things and the beauty of it all. I came home dripping in sweat but with a heart that was full! I'm just so thankful!

(and yes, I do have 4 kids...however I couldn't find one of Dakota that was related, not that this one of Ramiro is either, but who can resist that face!?)