For now...

I haven't posted in a few days...things have been such that I haven't been able to put words to thoughts. Emotions that are unable to really be explained here, details of my life that are awkward. Given that...there are some things that I know to be true as my heart feels uncomfortable again, fear is finding its way over me and I struggle to sort out how "life" really works.

For now, I can only deal with today and the "right now"! Matthew 6:34 says "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." I find this easier said than done...but I'm working on it today!

For now, I know God is working and my faith is being tested. James 1:2 says "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." Pure joy?? I'm working on that one today too!

For now, I know that God will provide rest. Rest is not optional for me. I'm no longer 20 something...no longer able to keep afloat on exhaustion. Matthew 11:28..."Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest". Weary?...check. Burdened?...check.

For now, as a dear family friend (from my wonderful home state of Alabama) reminded me today...our children are Gods before they are ours!! Yes, I need to remember that He loves my children more than I ever could (hard to wrap my mind around that thought...)!

For now, I will pray continually...1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." There's that word again...joy! Also, for those of you who might see me somewhere this week...if I seem a little "checked out"...I'm praying continually!!

And finally, for now...I am choosing to believe that Jesus is "standing" (not sitting) at the right hand of God...this week...for me! Watching with great intensity, working out every detail! I'm sure your thinking....what is she talking about and where is she going with this??

In Mark 16:19...Mark says that Jesus was taken up into heaven and SAT at the right hand of God. This is what I had always remembered and had this picture in my head of Jesus literally sitting next to His Father! Then in Sunday School the other week, our teacher read the verse from Acts 7:55-56...this is where Stephen is being stoned to death for his belief in Jesus Christ...the Bible says that Stephen looked up into heaven and saw Jesus STANDING at the right hand of God. The point of the lesson was Stephen...not whether Jesus was sitting or standing...but I was stopped there and have thought much about the differences! Have you ever been to a football game and someone is suddenly seriously injured...what happens? Everyone who was not already standing quickly jumps to their feet. Or how about the last second in a basketball game?? The player of the team who is 3 points behind chunks the ball into the air (as a last and final effort) and it is heading straight towards the basket...you jump to your feet! These are moments when everything changes...moments we just can't sit back and observe from our chairs! In that moment in Sunday School, I thought a new thought. I saw a picture I had never seen before! I'm sure Stephen felt a great sense of assurance that in that moment of great pain...it was of utmost importance to his Heavenly Father! Right now, I need to know that Jesus is doing the same for me! He's on His feet!