Healing Rain

This afternoon I took advantage of already having a sitter (had to get my hair cut) and went out for a quick 5 mile run. It was over cast so it was one of those days that you want to take advantage of...most days you have to wait until after 7:30 pm unless you want a heat stroke! Running really late like that (I'm usually in bed soon after 8pm) has its issues for me...first, I'm late for bed. I need my sleep! Secondly, it takes awhile before you can get calmed down after all the endorphins hit. I do love a shower at night, but its usually not enough to get me to sleep. I get that burst of energy and have trouble concentrating on "counting sheep"!

Matter of fact, I'd love to be asleep even now!! It's much past my bed time...but I had to get this out or else I know that my mind will be "working this out" into the weee hours of the morning! Hopefully you can stay with me on this...

So this afternoon, about 5 minutes into the run, it started to rain...of course! I'm beginning to wonder if the rain purposely waits until I'm out the door! It was perfect though...no lightening this time! It was one of those soakers that didn't let up! I thought it was cool that I could feel every drop that hit my skin. My shoulders, legs, head, face and even on my eyelashes! I was completely aware of every drop. But since I've been in this many times before (like everyday), I knew what was to come!! I had been running just long enough to sweat! As the rain ran down my face and into my eyes, the burn of the sweat becomes overpowering! And somehow, the more you wipe, the worse it gets! You just can't keep your eyes open through it.

I began to think about the rain just before the burn set in. Sometimes we think of rain in our lives as something that brings great turmoil. Other times the rain seems to be a source of healing. It's cools down the "heat" and it feels soooooo nice! As the burning in my eyes began, I realized that this very rain (which was once so wonderful) was now causing me much pain. Salt in the wound never feels good! This thought became an odd parallel to life: Sometimes, the rain causes the "salt" of our lives to become painfully apparent. I hadn't really paid much attention to my "sweat"...but it became ever so clear when the rain began to fall!

Yes, the Lord is good...it doesn't have to stay that way. The rain continued to fall and eventually the healing began. The burning was gone...the sweat had been "soaked" away. Very cool! I was back to enjoying the rain!

Some time later, about mile 4... things changed. My home was behind me, my church was ahead. (Small towns are nice like that!!) I had been enjoying the rain, still feeling every drop, and not particularly thinking about anything. But suddenly I just began to weep. No the salt had not returned. My heart was breaking instead. Unfortunately, I was at our main intersection (that would be singular) when I began to enter into my "ugly cry". If I was going to see anyone I knew...this would be the place. And I was a mess. I hope you didn't see me. It wasn't pretty.

I continued to run, tears rolling down my face and my heart feeling like a brick. I knew exactly what was going on. I know these tears well, they seem find me often. Maybe they are like rain too. They do bring healing...in a weird sort of way. Unlike the past, I let them fall today. I didn't wipe them away. Just like feeling every rain drop...I let myself feel the stream slide down my face and drop. I could still distinguish them from the rain, these were heavy.

I believe that today, though I know why my heart is broken, these tears were healing rain from my heart. Once again, rain that cools the heat, the hurt. Rain that heals from the inside...out!

As I came home, I was thankful for the lessons of rain... salt...tears.
Thankful for the experience of being "thoroughly soaked"!