God Speaks #2-5

Here's the rest of my "God Speaks" blog that I had to cut short the other day. If you are just joining in, you really must go and read the post just before this one...labeled God Speaks #1! You just might be able to follow along better that way!!

2. After all the emotional stuff surfaced and I began to recognize that maybe God was at the root of all the stirred up emotions...I became very aware of my daily experiences. A heightened awareness of God in the little things. I hung on to every word that was said around me and every word I read in books. I began really listening for God while watching the Christian tv station, the songs on the radio (Joy FM), and what I was observing going on around me. I began to hear and see specific messages being communicated that I knew God was sending to me! One book that was instrumental during this time was Beth Moore's book "Get out of that Pit". I started asking God to show up in my daily encounters and oddly, I really began to find God speaking to me through the simplest of songs and while out running. I also began to erase "coincidental" from my vocabulary. God's timing is on purpose! I would be amazed when I got to church and found that the sermon was using the very verse that I had studied all week...its AMAZING, not coincidence!! I thanked Him every time I recognized His hand at work!

3. I became very stingy with my time. I needed time with God and in Bible study. I had to let the phone ring, let the laundry sit another day, not worry about the dishes or the toilets! I had very little time without kids in my face, and I decided I had better get serious about this relationship that I desperately needed! I organized naps and child care around my time with the Lord...I was/am specific about it and must plan it into my day (it somehow doesn't just magically appear!!) As I studied more about the Bible, I noticed how thirsty I was for it. I began to see things I had never seen before, even though I could have recited the entire Bible story to you. I began to see my own life written on the pages, though they happened thousands of years ago. A word or phrase would jump off the page and I couldn't think about anything else! God was speaking when I spent time with Him! He was teaching me and I found clarity in my thinking over things I haven't understood in years! I discovered that I had been missing a huge part of this Christian walk b/c I had not been investing consistent time to being with God and in His Word! It reminds me of a song I learned as a small girl, "Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path". I don't know about you, but I'm here to tell you... I'm in need of a lamp to guide my steps and a bright light to shine unto my path that feels so dark at times!! I'd been missing out on the blessings, big time!!

4. About the same time, as I really began spending time with the Lord, this 4th thing really kicked into gear. I began to realize that my internal voice that spoke from my spirit...was God. I could somewhat call it my "gut instinct" telling me something, maybe my conscious was speaking...sometimes I had just thought I was talking to myself. Sometimes it was only a strong feeling or thought, but for me (I'm a little slow and need CLEAR, sometimes LOUD communication) I at times heard God audibly. I think people kinda freak a tad when people say this. I'm not sure why but if you have ever had this experience...you know for sure that it was a person's voice that you heard so clearly that you turned to see who was there! This has occurred several times...once I almost pulled the car over and called 911 b/c I panicked, I just knew that someone was in my trunk of the suburban. I thought someone was in there and they might have been trying to kidnap me. I needed the police immediately!! I got my wits about me and regained my composure (still trying to hold my breath and quietly look for my cell phone, without moving!!)...would someone who is trying to kidnap me be telling me to "go home and pray with Dan"...uhh...probably not! I was in a time in my life that the Lord knew that I would not get the message if it didn't come very clearly and loudly. God speaks!

5. Lastly, and as a tag from #4...I began to obey! Ugh...the word simply goes against my independent self and makes my knees feel weak (I can feel my mother nodding her head!!)! I must tell you that I would rather do many of things than to obey someone else...I sorta prefer my way. But, I gave in and began to do what I felt God leading me to do...though I must say that I would be shaking in fear! Literally shaking! God was speaking to me through MY obedience! Oddly enough, I saw God working every time! And let me be very honest here...there were times that I sensed (after the fact) that God wasn't really asking me to do something b/c He was changing anything...He was giving me the opportunity to learn to obey! Simple as that...I needed practice (and probably always will!). I wasn't going to bless anyone, I wasn't going to see some big change in a circumstance...but God wanted to know how serious I really was about this! I remember having a moment when driving, in which I said to God "Ok God, game on...I'm gunna do what you say, I'll be quiet and shut my mouth when I know you've told me to say nothing else...however, I need to see your hand here with this mess of mine!". Now, I don't really think God needs ultimatums...I'm just figuring He understood that my rope was long gone and I was starting to unravel! But, He took me up on the deal...He has shown up and I'm still amazed at how He is working in my life! I've seen answers come, clarity in the midst of chaos and I know that God is fulfilling His promises! I must be dilegent to hold up my end of this too!!

I want to end with one added thing...I know this is long...soo sorry! I hope I haven't lost anyone.

There is a very fair question to ask...How do you know if what you are hearing is God or satan...or maybe just yourself? The answer is this: I've had to ask God, "is this you or me?", and I've had to wait sometimes till I was clear on the answer. Put it to the test of the Bible...does it still stand in line with what God says? Also, I have found a nifty thing that helps...If I start "praising Him"...like singing praise songs (CD's are great for this), and thanking Him for what He is doing (even if all I can think of is that I have healthy kids)...the devil will flee! My fear, anxiety, questioning, etc.... all gone! If I'm still left with what I felt before and it can stand up to Biblical truths...I'd felt sure that God was working and giving me direction!

So, this wraps up what I felt lead to share. Again, maybe this is an exercise of obedience on my part but, I pray that maybe this is helpful for someone somewhere. May God do with it what He may, I'll just pray!

God Speaks #1

The pic has absolutely nothing to do with the post...I'd just hate to have a long post with no pictures however!! :)
This is Madelyn snuggling with Dakota...as my sister says, "oh break my heart!!".

As I had promised a week or more ago...I have compiled a list of things that I have learned about how God was trying to get my attention and what He was doing in order to speak to me. (and still is!) I'm very convinced that God will speak to every believer. This is just not an added perk to being a pastor, Christian author or deacon...its for all of us! God wants to speak to us, He wants us to hear also! We can learn to train our ears and hearts, I know this for sure!

First, I want to add a small disclaimer here...I am by no means saying that this is how God must always speak, or that there are not other ways God uses to call us to Him. God is just that...God. He can and does do whatever He sees fit. This is just what I have come to understand recently, just my experience...but I do know that you will find others who will have very similar experiences!

I also must communicate that I am "learning"...meaning that I haven't gotten this all figured out yet! I'm only offering what I have more recently learned and how God is speaking into my life at this current time. I am still trying to put pieces of this puzzle together, still trying to wrap my mind around some difficult experiences when I feel as if God wasn't so clear. Still trying to find a place for some questions concerning "WHY?". The difference from questions now versus several years ago...I'm not alone. I have a Father that is bigger than any question and can take the heat!
I love Beth Moore's statement: "I may be a drama queen, but thank God, I have a drama KING!".

With that said, here goes.
I have pin pointed 5 things that were huge for me in this process. I will list them for you in somewhat of a chronological order. Meaning that this is the order in which I began to have a change in my thinking. When I started to notice that something was up...

1) God used emotions and physical means to get my attention.
Tears, racing heart rate, anxiety, nausea, insomnia, etc.
This was the first revelation that I had...and it was huge for me. I have always been a tender hearted person, crying when anyone cried in my presence (even if they weren't talking to me directly...if I saw them very emotionally distraught, I cried!). But something changed when I began to notice that my tears where unexplainable. When I would start crying during a song, during a sermon, while listening to an interview on the radio, tv...anything. There was no apparent reason for the tears, but they would come with such force that I couldn't hide from them! I found myself working very hard to think about something else, trying to suppress the flood that was surfacing. I began avoid certain things. Things that seemed to trigger the rise in heart rate and then lead to never ending tears. I eventually ended up very medicated on Zoloft! Trying to numb the alarm that was going off, Zoloft did give me some relief. But then it took more, and more. My physicians said that stress and hormones were probably to blame. Please know that I understand that hormones can get really whacked out enough to need Zoloft for the right reasons. I had previously needed them during one of my pregnancies that sent my hormones into fits. They were helpful and I soon got off them when things seemed to settle down after the baby was born. There are times when medication is truly a blessing and a much needed tool to control some imbalances. I, however, more recently was using them to avoid something, even though I wouldn't have been able to vocalize that at the time. It was too deep and I couldn't see clearly what was actually taking place.

I see now that God was turning up the intensity of the alarm that I was desperately trying to silence! There was a clear avoidance mode that I was in. Looking back, I know that God was stirring things up inside me...ringing my alarm, if you will...because there were some things that He wanted to deal with me about! He wanted to help me sort through some baggage. He wanted my attention and He was gunna get it one way or another.

Now that I have come to understand this about my God...I am very careful to notice how things feel. When I feel uncomfortable. When my heart races and I can't sleep! When a reaccuring thought surfaces or tears begin to find their way out. I now sense that my Father is knocking/ringing the doorbell, and instead of running from the door, instead of running in fear of the emotions...I'm learning to go toward the knock. Opening up what might need some tending to. The sweet thing here is that the Lord was standing there (wondering what took me sooo long) wanting to walk me through this experience!

Actually, in times when I am doing something really uncomfortable...but knowing God is asking me to be there anyways...the racing heart is a relief. For I know that my God is living inside me and I often see (in my mind) Him holding my heart in His hands. I know He controls the beating of every heartbeat.

For timing sake...let me end this here. I will come back another day (soon) with the others.
The others are not as in depth...but I don't want to loose you and I have got to get off this computer!

I pray that you would ponder this in your own life...could it be that God is using your emotions or other physical reactions to get your attention? Is your alarm going off?

I found it much easier (and healing) to deal with the alarm than to work feverishly at silencing it!!

Why I run

**you might want to mute the blog music so you can hear the clip**

I found this clip recently and thought it was great! I thought of it as a friend, who saw me walking/hobbling yesterday around the neighborhood, asked me if I was done running now that I've done a marathon! She's not a runner so I understand that she doesn't "get it".

Running for me isn't something you do for once and then get bored of it. I need it and it is a therapy I just can't explain! Enjoy the video...I can never get through seeing the part where the father helps his son across the finish line b/c he injured himself during the race! Oh the tears....

Momma, are you going to win?

Notice my shirt...it says "run like a mother"! Couldn't resist it! It became mine!


A few days before the marathon, I had started this post. I never got back to finishing it until now...and maybe it was better this way. Here is what I had started:





Many times during this year, as the boys have asked questions about this race, I have had moments when I would just giggle and try to store the memory in my mind. The usual question is "Momma, are you going to win?". That really is humorous. They have no concept of the number of people who run these things and that many are professional athletes. The innocence in all of their questions are precious. Then they would go on to "well will you be second?".


The other day Ramiro asked me this question that has managed to penetrated my thoughts as I have frantically tried to manage the events of this week. It has been a reoccurring thought that sits in the front row of my mind with its hand up high, needing attention!!


The question was this, "Mom, who are you trying to beat?".


I'm not really sure what brought this question on...my suspicion is that it's just who Ramiro is. Most everything in his life, at the present time, is about being first and beating everyone at everything! He needs to be first to get breakfast, first out the door, first in the door, first in the shower, etc. Got the point? Competition at its best!



Never the less, I began to ponder this question that was asked with such innocence...but ever so important to define. The truth is, there is something to beat. The "26.2 with Donna" race is really a means in which to fight breast cancer...to raise money for research and to support local families while in treatment. But as anyone who has raced before knows...we are all in this for our own race too. Each of us who will run on Sunday has our own race to run, our own fight to fight and "thing" we need to beat. I will go to the start line Sunday morning, ready to run my own race and with the thought that the thing to fear is really fear itself! That's what I must beat! I just need to know that I can do this.



Now that the race is over...I wanted to share a sweet moment with Ramiro as I put him into bed the other day. First I've got to say that when I walked in the door the afternoon of the marathon...I was greeted by Andre and Ramiro, who were very excited for me and full of hugs and kisses. Ramiro immediately noticed my metal around my neck and jumped up in the air with one fist over his head and said "Yeah Momma, you winned!!". Not correct grammar, but the words couldn't have been more perfect and of course pulled at my emotions like nothing else!



This brings me to bed time. I was giving him hugs and kisses, wrapping him up with his "lovie" and then he paused for a second and said "Mom, you winned, right?". I immediately thought of his previous questions of who I was trying to beat. I had snap shots that raced through my mind of the 26 mile journey, the year of training and the 4+ hours of running that had put my body into complete exhaustion. I rubbed his hair and face as his big blue eyes waited for my response.

I bent down to kiss his face and said "yes, baby, Momma winned her race".

He responded, "I'm glad".

Hardly able to control my emotions, I quietly whispered back, "me too".

Along the 26.2 path

Here's some photo's of this LONG journey...

Carrie and I first thing in the morning...like 6 am...and yes, it was still dark. But we were with 7,000 other runners who were trying to wake up and get ready!

Waiting for 7:30 am with nothing to do but drink, use the Porto potties and take pictures of ourselves!

They gave us tatoo's to wear...the kids are pumped about the extra's I brought home for them!!






Well, the race started and all was going well...and at this point was still really fun...this was at 8 miles and then passing 10! Still feeling great and happy to be there!!


Mile 13. Still thumbs up and all smiles! Feeling great!

Mile 15...still feeling great! And still smiling!! Of course, still stopping for the Kodak moments!!
Mile 17...still thumbs up, starting to get a little tired now, but overall...OK!

This was mile 18-19 ish...eating a rice ball...maybe not so excited about this anymore! Tired and just too exhausted to look at Carrie and give a thumbs up...conserving energy!!

Mile 20...barely stopped for Kodak moment...didn't really even care about Kodak at this point...I just wanted to be DONE with this already!! No thumbs up, no smiles...just barely standing! 6 more to go...and little did I know...they were UPHILL!!

Here's a video Carrie took of me finishing...I was relieved and thrilled to have made it with no major issues!!

Go Team Jill!!

4:46:44

I finished!! 26.2 miles!!
I was hoping to have a faster time...but I wasn't expecting the last 2 1/2 miles to be UPHILL!! Ugh!
So...under 5 hours, I'm happy!
I'm walking, tired but actually feel fairly well...considering!
My sister was awesome...she met me about every 2 miles!!
She biked way more than I ran!
I can't thank her enough!

I got some fun stuff and some great pictures...can't wait to share them with you.
For now...party on my couch!!

...oh and with more Tamiflu in hand!!

The truth be told

Ok, so the race...ya well its now 4 days away! Oh let me say that again, with the intensity that I really feel is more telling...THE RACE IS NOW 4 DAYS AWAY!!! Me panic?? No such thing.

So let me review:
I am supposed to be carb loading...check. Plus, chocolate ice cream is carbs too!
Protein pumping...does fried chicken last night count?
Stretching...I felt a pull in my hamstring while bending over Dakota's bed checking his fever (104 this morning...eecckk!!), I held it for a few seconds...maybe it will be sufficient, maybe not!
Running 3 miles/ twice this week...so far I'm running to the pantry for Tylenol and the throw up bucket...for sure won't count! No other running has happened this week.
Sleeping...not so much...getting into bed by11pm. Tossing, turning all night long. Can't sleep through Dakota's dog cough and Madelyn's face plastered next to mine!
Relaxing...fat chance! Ramiro has personally taken that on as a project this week, it won't happen!
Staying away from sicko's...well, since they are all living in my house right now (and appear to have strep!!)...and I'm responsible for caring for them...this got thrown out the window the second I wrote it in my last post! Shame on me for even mentioning it!! I'm out to get that kid that has coughed all over my healthy kids!! I've since become a Lysol spraying maniac!!

**update**
Took Dakota to dr...strep test negative. Swab up the nose for flu test, positive! Now all 4 kids+ me are on Tamiflu! That would be a nice $150 bill today that was NOT in the Dave Ramsey budget for the month! And yes, that's after our nice BC/BS insurance!! Sweet. But I'm thankful I have a pediatrician who cares that I can not get sick right now...btw, she's a runner!!

So, am I excited about the race? Ready to run my little heart out?
Oh yes...after playing nurse all week...I'm looking forward to being away from all this mess and go run for 4 hours!! Play day for me!! I can't wait!!
Never mind that my prep week has absolutely not happened like I wanted it to...I'm hoping it was all over rated anyways!!

The next 7 days.

The next 7 days. I will be on the countdown, preparing every aspect I know to prepare.
Oh how I love proper planning! Makes me giddy inside, you know... lists and all!

Carb loading. Protein pumping. Stretching on anything that will hold me up.
Keeping myself loose and relaxed (somewhat of an oxymoron at this point).
Early to bed...sleep, sleep, sleep!
Taking Colloidal Silver and staying away from anyone who sneezes!!
(never mind that I've woken up with a sick stomach today and am barely holding down Saltines!)

My sister will fly in on Friday. She has maybe the toughest job...keeping up with me!
She's going to be loaded up with anything I might need...drinks, food, drugs, dry clothes, energy, distraction, humor, help stretching, motivation when I have none and directions to the closest Porto potty! Sounds like fun huh? How do you thank someone for that?

In 7 days, I will put my body and soul to the test.
26.2 miles.
Rain or shine. Hot or cold. It's any ones guess.
The training's been done, the miles are logged.
It will be a day I won't forget, with many hours to soak it all in!

In 7 days, I'll lace up my shoes, as I've done a hundred times the past year.
Thankful for this journey, this time of mental and physical growth!
Just the road and I, with miles to go and thoughts to ponder.
As my legs pull me forward, my heart pumping away...
I know this was a gift.
A blessing in disguise!

Can't it be 20 degrees today??

Today, I am so very proud of myself. Want to know what I did, all by myself??
I sound like my preschoolers, I know!
I built a fire in the fireplace.
I realize your probably thinking "big deal, Jill"...well it was!
I had never, never before done the fireplace thing!
My kids were worried. I must have seemed a little on edge while barking out demands..."move over Ramiro, Andre back up I need some space here, Madelyn 'no no, hot', please boys don't ask me questions while I'm still trying to figure out how to get the stupid (oops sorry Andre, I know we don't say stupid)...I mean SILLY lighter started"!
(It must have ran out of lighter fluid, starter stuff...b/c the next lighter worked just fine...it was NOT operator error, I'll have you know!!)

Anyways...I've since had to open up the windows to let some of the 50+ degree weather in so we didn't roast in here! I wouldn't have cared if it was 75 degrees out...I'M LEARNING TO BUILD A FIRE TODAY!! (oops actually I checked my suburbans thermometer...its 72 degrees!!)

This afternoon, I have taken a few minutes to read in Numbers and Deuteronomy. Aren't you excited!!?? What could be more fun on a Friday afternoon, right!? I know eyes are rollin', oh well! Actually to be honest, I really haven't read much more than 4 words...over and over again.

If you look in Numbers, almost every other verse starts with "and the Lord said to Moses"...and then "the Lord spoke to Moses". On and on it goes...the same few words, over and over for 36 chapters ...I'm not incredibly bright but I got a feeling that maybe there is a point that was needing to be made here!! Just maybe!

Then I happened upon Deuteronomy 28:1 NKJV
"...if you diligently obey the voice of the Lord your God..."

Hum.

Could it be that THE LORD HAS SOMETHING TO SAY!!??

I am reminded of a conversation the other night with a friend that I don't talk to much, but love nevertheless!! She mentioned that she had wondered about what people mean when they "hear God". Well, I've thought a lot about that since Wednesday night...its another part of my 2008 that has changed me.

So, to make this short...I'm working on compiling some notes on how I've come to know the Lord speaking in my life. I have journaled throughout last year, mostly for my own sanity...but I think it has provided some insight about how God speaks to me and what that sounds like. It of course will only be of my experience with God. But its one of those...ask 5 different people...you'll get 5 different stories of how God speaks to them. However, maybe it will be of some help to someone else. I still am in the process of figuring this all out myself though...its a life long process, I think. But there were clearly some signs that I was not recognizing as HIM!! It was a huge step in experiencing God that I was missing before!

I recognize that maybe many of you are more interested in more "funner" blogs. It's ok. Read what you want, don't what you don't...actually it probably is a better exercise for me than anyone else!

Til then, I'm enjoying my toasty warm fire. That I , ahem, built all by myself!!
Madelyn's not the only big girl around here!! She's got company today baby!!

Answering questions

Because I don't want to spend too long on the computer, here are the responses to some of ya'll questions...sorry for the impersonal nature of the response. I do want to answer them however.

1. My memory verse for the first half of this month is: "As water reflects a face, so a mans heart reflects the man." Proverbs 27:19

2. Yes, if you are wanting to send this blog site to a friend or someone, feel free to do so. I intentionally leave out some information so that it protects my kids and family. I do not have a problem with it being given to others! Thanks for asking!

3. If you comment, the comments are sent directly to my email address and not posted on the blog. So, I do get the comments and read them all! I love to hear back from people. However, I can not respond to them unless I already know your email address. When the comment comes to me the address is a "no reply" address, so I just cant reply back through the original comment! You must give your email address so I can contact you directly!

4. The marathon is coming up in a very few short days...like 10, or 11? Its Feb. 15th!! So, wish me luck! I will need it b/c 26.2 miles is a LONG way to travel by foot!!

Thanks for the love and support to those of you have have emailed me! I feel blessed to know that God is using something as simple as a journal of my thoughts and life experience! I don't know how God will use this, but I see that He is...and let there be no mistake about it, I'm really the one getting the blessing out of it!!

BTW...still pondering this one...isn't the picture perfect? It is a conformation in the working, and probably a future post is brewing! (If your just joining this blog...you need to go read the previous post to understand what I'm referring to!)

Another piece of me.

Some things in life are private matters. They are personal and so they need to stay...well, personal.

My walk with the Lord is not one of these "private" matters.

I do not believe that what the Lord is teaching/showing me is something I am called to keep to myself. We are to share our lives with others and to verbalize Gods works in us!

I have come to understand that this also requires transparency. Transparency is tough because it requires accountability.

One thing that I am becoming aware of is when I vocalize (or write) what God is doing and teaching, when I share this with others...there is some level of accountability that is suddenly put into place.

I must be, and do what I say. It is true for all of us...others are watching, making notes of our walk, and our talk.

Scary thought at times.

God knows our need for accountability and transparency...somehow I feel that He has instilled in me the desire to share with you, for my own good!

Was that a lot to digest? It was for me too!

So all this leads me to my run yesterday. It was a wonderful 6 mile day...the weather was cool and it turned out to be a perfect hour.

Here's my thoughts while running:

2008 was not a fun year for me. In January 2008, my world was turned upside down and I spent the entire rest of the year trying to process and recover. I can remember the frustration of wondering why God would allow this to happen to me and why now? But I had to answer the very "un-fun" questions of..."why NOT me? why NOT now?". These are difficult to swallow. It took me a lot of time to get my mind wrapped around these truths.

Yesterday I had a different thought.

Psalms 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God".

Up until yesterday, what stood out to me about this verse (which many of us have known since the womb) was the "BE STILL". Being still is just a huge challenge for many of us. A tall order with children, spouses, families, jobs, yard work, household chores, etc. Yet, very important.

I have thought about this verse a lot over the years...always struggling to really feel like I could execute the "be still" part of it. Because I got stuck there at the beginning, I never really got to the next 2 words..."and know".

Then it clicked...2008..."why NOT me?".

What God has done with my 2008 was build a foundation for my "and know". The truth is, we can NOT "be still" if we don't "know". There is no peace in life, no firm foundation without "knowing" God like I do now!

I'm not talking about "being saved", as my church here calls it. I'm not talking about, are you a Christian, or not. Although, these things must happen first...you must start with Christ being in your life!
I am talking about; do you know, that you know this God so personally that it feels like there is no you without Him?

Have we moved beyond our knowledge of God? Because I do not believe that knowledge of God provides us the ability to "be still" either. My suggestion is that only experiencing God does!!

Because of 2008, I know God rescues. I know God redeems. I know God heals. I know God changes hearts. I know Gods plan isn't mine. I know God will allow hearts to be broken, only because He needs to strip away what is not like Him. I know God speaks to me...and can tell you specifically how He does so, regularly. I know God in my life and feel the difference within the deepest part of who I am. I know God is teaching me so that He might use it to work in the lives of others. (as a side note: would you believe me if I told you that after my post titled "tearful sowing", I got an email from a friend saying that God took that post and used to it bring her to Him?? She accepted Christ that very night!! It's true and it gives me chills to remember that I wrote "I share myself here because I feel led to". It was a very humbling experience and I was (tearfully) ecstatic for her!!).

I wish there was a way for you to hear me say "know".

It is a know that means something so much more than "been there and done that"...but maybe something like it! You have experienced it so deeply that there is no turning back, you are forever changed and there is a deep connection with it.

It's kinda like child birth. There's just nothing like it, and until you've experienced that specific type of pain...you can't fully understand it...but then once you have, your perspective is suddenly different because you know what your friend is going through when she's in labor! There's a deeper, more emotional connection to this kind of "know"! I'm finding my walk with the Lord to be much like that. Know what I mean? hee hee, just had to put that in there!! :)

All this to say...I'm beginning to see some purpose, some reason for the trials. I'm rejoicing because I can "Be still and KNOW that I am God" like never before! Yet, I know that there is still so much more to "know" about Him!

Let me share one more thing...haven't quite figured this all out...but also while running yesterday, God impressed upon me that I will see the olive branch. The floods will end and there will be dry ground! The dove has been set free and is returning with good news, dry ground has been found! I'm still pondering this one...God is good!