Jehovah Jireh- My provider

(the whole "stand still, look at the camera and give me nice smiles please dear children" didn't go as I had envisioned in my head...this was the best we could do at the moment! And my face seems red? Yes well, you see I was exercising my newish ability to PICK MY STINKIN BATTLES!! It adds a nice holiday color to my face. Nice, eh?!)

I'm beginning to feel up to posting about our holidays. They really went well and though the anticipation was not as smooth for me personally (and my stomach was not thrilled)...when it came down to it, all was well!!

This is our first holiday season after the divorce. We had made the decision that we would spend the 24th-25th each year together, though many thought we were crazy. I pray that my children will one day recognize the gift they have been given to have parents who have managed this year with relatively minimal damage. No it hasn't all been easy. Things have happened and been said that were tough to walk through, but generally speaking I think we have done well. If I do say so myself!

The kids were excited to have us all together and I think they feel more at peace when the adults are able to set aside our differences and focus on enjoying the things that do bind us together...our 4 precious children! I see it in their faces and it warms my heart that their father and I can do this for them! I recognize that not every family can manage this, I pass no judgement on those who need to work things differently. But for us, though it was awkward at times, it was a blessing and I was extremely glad we did it!

There were even moments when I fought to keep the emotions down. I most definitely believe that God's provisions were at work. Divorce usually leaves both parties very angry and bitter. Though we all must work through these emotions, my holiday season was a testament to our Father...Jehovah Jireh (Yahwey Yireh)...the Lord that will provide our needs!

As we opened gifts together at my parents house (across the street), the kids each had gifts that they had bought (with their earned money), wrapped and labeled for me. It was precious! Here was Ramiro's and Andre's!
What mother doesn't want to remember that forever??

They had a little help from my parents...but you should have seen the 72 pieces of tape that Ramiro used to wrap my gift! I should have taken a picture of that too! Darn it!

After Christmas, the kids went back to Florida with their father. Though the parting was tough, everyone did fairly well. I ran and slept.

On December 31, 2009 I received word that I had fully been accepted into Liberty University and all my financial paperwork had been approved!! (I'm listed as a 6th year senior...some of us just need more time than others!!) I haven't mentioned this here on the blog yet...I wasn't sure what the outcome would be. Things were a bit touch and go there for awhile, I was starting to get the feeling that this wasn't "MY TIME". Just after Christmas I was informed that they would be sending my financial aid papers to the Department of Education and to expect the turn around to be around 2 weeks. Given the snow and business closings, there was concern that I wouldn't be able to start this semester.

Come to find out....Jehovah Jireh was at work again! What was expected to take 14 days, took 2!! And so it is, I am back in school. Back to what I love, and hate! So in a few days I will be buried deep into books and assignments...2 Christian counseling classes and 2 Philosophy classes! Sounds like fun eh?? The kids think its funny and Ramiro asks me everyday what grade this makes me...like 1st, 2nd or 3rd?

As the year came to a close, all I could get out of my heart was "God, I'm thankful that you are Jehovah Jireh, Lord of all I need". Though simple concept for some, it was a huge statement for me! I wasn't able to say that He was Lord of all I wanted. That isn't who God is...and that has been an incredibly difficult part of these past 2 years. But...He has provided something better, what I needed! He is Lord of all I need!! I'm finally able to see it HIS way and can feel the peace it brings. I'm thankful that He knows the difference, even though I still at times battle the distinction between the two!!

He knows what I don't and sees what I can't.

Jehovah Jireh...

you are the bright Star that changed the dark that Christmas night,

thank you for what you have provided in 2009!!