Just checking in again. I wish I had something to say that would be of interest. I don't really.
Wish I had pictures to post...I don't. Can't figure out how to use my docking station here.
You probably wouldn't be interested to hear that Dad is working on electrical things this morning, little by little lights are beginning to work. Or that I shoveled dirt the other day in 98 degree heat, little by little a yard is beginning to appear. Or that the guy finally came to measure for the railings for the front walkway/stairs, little by little we are getting ready for inspection.
I have no new running news. I've only ran outside once! It's too stinkin' hot!! For now, the elliptical machine is doing the job for me!!
Church was an odd experience yesterday. I only took 2 of the kids with me. They did fine.
I sat there confused and empty however. I had just accidentally introduced myself using my previous married name...then said "actually no, I'm just Jill". The guy looked at me with a strange look. I just turned and walked away...I think he was waiting for me to say something else. To make sense of the confusion I just created. But, there wasn't anything else to say. For I am confused myself. Trying to still make sense of things and for heaven sakes....just trying to get my name correct is such a task!!
I don't remember the last time I just sat in the pew on a Sunday morning. The last time I wasn't a part of the music in some form or fashion. I don't remember the last time that I was the new person, where absolutely no one knew my name...except for the "no I'm just Jill" guy that now thinks I'm an idiot!! I don't remember the last time I felt so isolated in a room of almost 600 people.
I suppose this transition will take some time. It will take some patience. And I feel sure it will take some tears.
Little by little I know my heart will settle down.
Little by little my Comforter will comfort.
Little by little my Healer will heal.
Little by little I am reminded that all I must do is "today"...
one little step at a time
one little moment without tears
one little laugh with the kids
Little by little...it feels so much better to see it like that!!
2 comments:
You hang in there Jill...time heals all wounds and the Great Physician is by your side every step of this journey...but then you know that! You keep your head up....."Just Jill" will be JUST FINE!
Glad to hear from you. Can't wait for pics! take care.
love ya, Lisa
Hi "Just Jill." I miss you girl. I wish I could come church shopping with you. I wish I could bring back about 20 of those Haitians and start a church to show people how to really worship. I am praying for you guys. I know you will find where you are meant to be. And before long you ownt be "just jill" anymore. You are never "just jill" to us or to God.
Post a Comment