My Reasons

So as I was thinking about what I would post next...many ideas came to mind. I want to dedicate one post to each of my children's "birth story" (they each have a special story about how they joined us!)...but then I have many "funnies" that I want to add (so I don't forget)...and then there's this battle going on inside my heart (actually more like an argument with the Lord) over the events that have occurred last week for Steven Curtis Chapman and his family. The tragic and horrific event that they all witnessed, ultimately causing them to release their 5 year old daughter/sister to the Lord has shaken things up a bit for me (as I know it has many others).

I had anticipated writing about one of those many options which I have thought about for a few days now. As I sit here this morning however, a new thought has come.

My reasons. Andre, Madelyn, Ramiro & Dakota (as they are from left to right in this picture). These 4 lives are "my reasons" for everything. I can not think of one thing that isn't in some way tied into them. They are the reason that I laugh, the reason why I have funny stories, the reason why I shop at BJ's (for buying in bulk!), my reason for reading books, the reason I cry, the reason I need to run, the reason why my temper shows its face most days, my reason for a suburban with crazy gas mileage, the reason why we have this particular house, etc. You get the point here...the list is just never ending! And I must say, they are the reason why I stay sure that I need the Lord. Ultimately, I want a relationship with Him, whether I ever had children or not...but If I want them to grow to love the Lord...I must be their example! I'm challenged by the thought that they will learn more from my actions than my words...*sigh*...I'm trying to consider my actions and reactions more and more every day!

Yesterday I put Madelyn in her little pool here for the first time! True to her personality, she just looked around at first and took it all in. No squealing, no splashing, nothing...just looked at the water, looked at me, felt of this funny outfit she was now sporting...the first shot here was her first glimmer of a smile that this could be fun. The second shot was much later when she had officially decided to enjoy the water and splash around a bit! She also yesterday took her first few very stable steps! *another big sigh* My baby is growing faster than I want...but I'm enjoying her in a way that I didn't allow myself to do with the boys!

I am reminded to not take a day for granted...it could be my last. To enjoy life's fun moments and relax in child like play!

I love taking Andre out in the mornings to look at the garden and see what bloomed over night. He is very impressed and somehow thinks I had something to do with it! He praises me for doing such a good job at "growing that flower so big"...*stopping to smile*...He can't seem to grasp (at 3) the concept that God gave us flowers and He is the one that grows them.

"no mommy...you put it there...I saw you when you came home from the store with them and put them in this dirt right here...right??"

"Well Andre...I did buy them and then planted them in this dirt, but God is the reason why the flowers bloom...He made these flowers special just for us to enjoy looking at and smelling...He was thinking of us when he made these...He knew we would love them every morning..."

And once again...the Lord reminds me...We are His reasons! His reason for everything He does! From a beautiful flower to giving of His Son...we were the reason for it all!!

For today, I'll rest in that!

-Jill